When Toni Kofi arrived in the Netherlands from Kumasi, Ghana and saw one of his professors riding a bike, he was stunned. 'My professor cannot even afford a car? He has to ride a bike!' marveled the newcomer. He also noticed a professor eating with his students. 'Why must a professor eat with his students? Have they no respect for his rank?' thought the Ghanaian immigrant. Later he spotted a priest in the supermarket. 'What? In this country must a priest do his own grocery shopping?' wondered the novice to Dutch customs.
On Wednesday, October 31, Toni Kofi regaled his audience at the ITC with such anecdotes. At a lecture co-sponsored by Helene van den Bemt from SPE and Wiel Eggen, the priest for students at ITC, Kofi dealt with the paradox of cross-cultural communication: while the notion of differing cultures of origin may spark one's interest, interacting with people from foreign cultures can result in countless misunderstandings. Kofi left his homeland eighteen years ago and ultimately found his calling at the Universiteit Wageningen as resident expert of inter-cultural contact studies. Currently he lives in Amsterdam, in the Bijlmer, where his theories are tested daily.
Kofi began the evening by walking into the audience - which comprised students of over seventeen countries - and shaking hands. He gripped hands firmly, touched the joined hands with his other hand, smiled and made eye contact. Next he asked how people felt when he had shaken their hands. Some students found his handshake too firm, others not firm enough. Some found it too long, others not long enough. He reminded the audience that when shaking hands, one brings one's own culture to the handshake, but that most of the time one forgets that the other person may be bringing a totally different culture to the handclasp. He recalled his early 'death grips' in the Netherlands, as Dutchmen squeezed the life out of his fingers. In Ghana, friends exchange a long shake and then click their fingers.
The audience learned that some cultures do not even shake hands. Students from Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh volunteered that men and women do not shake hands. They demonstrated a variety of bows with which they might show respect during salutations. In short, individual cultures are reflected in a handshake.
The evening continued in the same highly interactive fashion. Kofi brought with him ideas and theories, but waited to hear students' particular interests and thus allowing their anecdotes to illustrate his theories. He explained that when you move to a new country, your values and beliefs serve as armor to protect you as you stumble through complicated and confusing new situations. You must project your own mores while at the same time acknowledging that other values exist. It is equally important to give others a chance toexpress themselves in the way they know how. Incidentally Kofi also suggested that when misunderstandings among international students arise, it is best to wait a few hours or a few days to cool off before confronting the problem in a peaceful manner. Even then, the recommended tactic is to simply present the conflict and let other person deal with the information in his or her own way, rather than preaching 'how we do things in my country.'
So the next time your Ghanaian neighbor blasts his music at ear-popping decibels, consider that he might come from a community where he was the only person with a stereo. For him playing music loud is a form of sharing his good fortune. Before you blast him, knock on his door, shake his hand and learn a little about his culture.
