It started with the person she chose to marry. Arranged marriages are still the traditional method of matrimony, wherein prospective brides/grooms are chosen by parents for their daughters/sons strictly from their own communities. After Muthukrishnan completed her bachelor's in electronics and communications engineering from Madras University, she worked at a research-based optical communications company for almost two years. There, love struck her in the form of Kiran Thumma, a charming young man hailing from another state, belonging to a different community and speaking a totally different language, leading to a series of clandestine meetings and phone calls. Westerners reading this may find it rather queer, but bear in mind that India is still a conservative society and a `love marriage' is not yet the norm.
Muthukrishnan and her beau dreamed of studying abroad, which would be another first in her family. While warding off marriage proposals brought to her by her family, Muthukrishnan was admitted to a UT master's program. The secret love-birds decided to come out in the open about their relationship. After some initial hesitation, both families came around and accepted this match. One problem remained however. Since live-in relationships are almost blasphemous in India, how could the couple live together in Netherlands without the holy sanctity of a marriage? A quick wedding was organized - much to the young couple's delight!
Muthukrishnan says, `Unlike in the West, in India, young people do not move out of their parents' homes and live independently. It is a very cocooned life, especially for women. I dreaded the prospect of living on my own, that too in a Western country till my husband joined me. It was a very nerve-wracking experience. Nobody from my family had married outside the community, nobody (especially the women) had considered further studies, much less in a foreign country with the husband staying behind!' Her doubts about surviving alone in the Netherlands were reinforced by a rather inauspicious start at Schiphol. As she was heading to the Enschede-bound train, she lost control of her luggage trolley; it wheeled uncontrollably down the slope onto the railway platform, with Muthukrishnan running behind it and eventually ripping her clothes. `I laugh about it now, but at the time I was on the verge of tears,' she says with a smile.
Things got better as Muthukrishnan discovered a large number of Indians on campus, a source of tremendous solace to her. Eventually her husband joined her to pursue a PhD at the faculty of Science & Technology. Muthukrishnan found the Dutch education system a complete contrast with what she was used to. She joined the course at a later date due to a visa delay and found that she had to take an exam within a week. `I had studied that particular subject (electrodynamics) during my bachelor's. Also, I learned that it was an open-book exam, so I thought I could manage it. Only when the exam actually started did I realize how thorough one has to be.' Muthukrishnan failed at this first attempt and developed a kind of mental block about electrodynamics. `I thought I would never do well in this subject, but my husband's help and studying in a group with Indonesian and Chinese students enabled me to pass the exam with flying colors in the second year.'
Indeed, the second year of Muthukrishnan's master's program saw her confidence growing by leaps and bounds; earlier she had doubted her ability to earn a doctorate, but seeing such a `large number female AIO's' pursuing a PhD successfully at the UT changed her mind.
A woman of many firsts in a patriarchal society - Muthukrishnan, may your tribe increase!
Hometown: Madras, India
Languages: Tamil, English
Favorite food: `Biryani (rice cooked with vegetables) made by my husband'
Favorite movie: All Tom Cruise movies
Favorite music: Indian film songs
Hobbies: Singing, cooking
Dream Destination: Switzerland
Best part of living in NL: Friendly people
Worst part of living in NL: Too much of paperwork
