Her background in education and employment is the same as that of her husband, tells Soude. Both studied Computer Sciences in Teheran, worked a short time as a system analyst and followed a Master's program in Sweden. `And then we both wanted to get on with our career,' says the Iranian. `So we applied for PhD-positions in different countries. But there was never place for both of us. Because we also wanted to have a baby, we decided that my husband should work as a PhD-student at the UT and that I would stay at home.'
That was not an easy decision, says Soude. As a highly educated Iranian woman, she doesn't want to be behind in her field, which is developing with lightning speed. `That's why I do a lot of self studying and write a paper every now and then. I want to keep up, because I want to be able to get to work again later.' A major barrier was the Dutch language. `My husband could follow a language course, but I couldn't because it's too expensive. I try to teach it to myself using books and CDROMs, but it doesn't really work. You learn a lot faster when you can actively speak Dutch to classmates.'
Soude fills her days with walking - `exercise is good for the baby, said the doctor' - and getting ready for her driver's license. `Those long days alone can be difficult, but I try to go out as much as possible. Luckily, we found some friend through colleagues of my husband. We celebrated Sinterklaas with them. Through that group I'm in contact a Dutch woman who is also pregnant. It creates a bond.'
The differences between Iran and the Netherlands are big, but it doesn't apply to her being a woman. Soude is from a liberal family, her parents didn't raise her according to strict Islamic law. `In Iran, the government upholds strict Islamic law, but the citizens are much more liberal. Especially in circles of higher educated people, women get enough chances. Both my parents were teachers, that was my luck.'
It's definite for Soude that the Dutch quality of life is better. Still, her husband and she want to go back to Iran in four years' time, when his PhD is finished. `We think that we have more career opportunities there. But above all, we miss our family, I'd like for my child to grow up with its family. We have friends here, but that's just not the same.' The only problem is the situation in Teheran in four years' time. `Maybe a different regime will govern, will we still want to live there? Will we be better off somewhere else? Time will tell.'
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| Soude Fazeli (Foto: Arjan Reef) |
